I have to say I am a worrier. It is a sport I excel in. And I went for an MRI for the vertigo and my doctor called me in to talk about it on the 8th of April.
It could be nothing much at all. But I know just enough to be freaked out. Because I know some things that can show an MRI. And no, I do not mean a brain tumour. Because she would get me in soon for that and also my CAT scan was clear. No, I mean like MS or having had a stroke and not knowing I did because they are so damn similar to migraines. That sort of thing.
It is worrying about the great Unknown when you have no idea if you should worry or worry More.
Fact is, worrying about potential theories before you know anything is a waste of headspace. Because you cannot Know. You brain just twists and turns with random things because it doesn’t have the facts. And why worry about something before you actually have to worry about something. It won’t change the result. And it may be nothing at all.
I worried about the mass on my liver. And it was just a benign cyst. So that was a lot of worry for nothing.
So you got to turn off the worry tap in your brain. Just breathe. Tell yourself to stop dwelling on it because there is nothing to do until you know. Then distract your brain with something else or some other activity.
Easier said than done. But I am distracting myself. Just in any moment of quiet, my brain goes spinning off again. Like when I am trying to go to sleep. And sleep has been an issue between the vertigo and the ripped muscle I have from my last vertigo fall. Apparently severely ripped muscles take like 6 weeks to repair. And it has been a month. So no nice sleep for me for a bit. Also fibro flaring due to spring cleaning. So I lay there spinning and in pain and my mind wanders… right back to that damn MRI.
Re-occurring worries happen. And will happen. To all of us but also due to our chronic illness problems. And something that has helped me in the past is literally saying to myself ‘stop’ and turning to different thoughts. Another thing that helps is acknowledging this is not something I have any control over and I shouldn’t worry about it until I know what I am dealing with it… and then deal with it. See more about that in the two posts listed.
It is fine to worry. We all worry about test results that came back wonky. It just isn’t okay to excessively worry when we have no information yet. We can worry when we do have more information. That will happen often. New things to deal with are not fun.
Chronic illness and worry
How to work on worrying