Tom Bilyeu teaches us why we shouldn’t react, but rather LEARN FROM our haters and critics.
Tom Bilyeu Motivational Speech: Learn From Your Haters – WATCH ON YOUTUBE:
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Speaker: Tom Bilyeu
Being insulted is amazing. It’s one of the best things that could happen to you. Why? Because when people want to hurt you, they’re going to come after you with something real.
Nobody throws an insult at you that they think is patently ridiculous. The things that they insult you for are the things that they know are going to get under your skin, and if you can take that in, if you can let that pain wake you up to something you may not have wanted to look at, if you can let that attack become something that empowers you, because you’re willing to listen, you’re able to separate the message from the messenger.
You’re able to see that even though what they’re trying to do is hurt you, that in there, there is a nugget of truth, and the way that I think about that, is when people throw something at me, they’re throwing a nugget of gold, and yes, it sucks every time you get hit in the face with a nugget of gold. But if you don’t throw your defences up, if you take that shot, suddenly at your feet is something very valuable, something that you can use, and all you have to do is be willing to pick it up, be willing to hold it in your hand and look at it, and see it for what it is, which is the truth.
And in the truth, then you can see how you really are, and once you see how you really are, then you can make that change, but it all begins with the pain. It all begins with the suffering. It all begins with an insult. It all begins with something aimed to take you down, but when you have the mentality of a learner, when your identity is around self-improvement, when the thing that makes up who you are is your single-minded willingness to stare naked at your inadequacies, suddenly you can change.
Suddenly, it doesn’t hurt so much to have somebody say something. As long as it’s true, you’re willing to use it. As long as it’s true, you’re willing to take it on board, and see how you can improve and get better but first, you must stop being willfully blind to your inadequacies. You must stop being willfully blind to the mistakes that you make.
You must stop being willfully blind to the areas that you need to improve if you want to achieve the things that you say you want to achieve, but that’s where people get stuck. They get stuck in self-esteem. They get stuck building their self-esteem around something that is weak, something that is fragile, something that can be attacked.
And that’s why you have to build your self-esteem around something truly anti-fragile, something that the more it is attacked, the stronger it becomes, and the only thing that I’ve ever seen that’s like that is to identify as the learner. Once you identify, once your very sense of self is that of someone who improves, someone who’s willing to look at the truth, someone who’s willing to hear the hard, and difficult, and painful truths about who you really are, because you know that the thing that makes you great is your willingness to look at that and to improve.
Once you have that mentality, once you’re willing to push yourself and improve and become something extraordinary, that is the thing that’s going to give you that pride and that sense of self-esteem, because you were willing to stare at the things that you find ugly about yourself, because you know you can make them beautiful. And that’s the difference between the person who throws an insult at you. They have not yet figured that out, and they need to tear you down to try to make themselves bigger.
But you don’t need to do that, because you have an aim. You know what you’re trying to become, and the relentless pursuit of that mandates that you accept who you really are right now as a means to figure out the new skillset that you need to acquire to live the life that you wanna live, but focus only on that. Don’t worry about people trying to tear you down.
Don’t worry about anything other than what is true, what is needed, for you to cross the chasm of skillset to get from where you are to where you want to be, because that is the most important question life is ever going to ask. Who do you wanna become, and what’s the price you’re willing to pay to get there? So ask yourself right now: what price are you willing to pay for greatness?
It doesn’t matter what other people think but it matters a lot what you think about yourself, so every day earn that worth.