Make Friends with Your Fears



“If you don’t know the nature of fear, you can never feel fearless.” – Pema Chodron

Many of my clients ask me how it is to live with no fears. I tell them that I don’t really know. Coaching is my profession, and still, I am human.

The big difference between the Old Me before getting certified as a coach and Today’s Me comes from the fact that I’ve now gotten useful instruments of self-awareness, so I know how to self-manage my fears. 

Each time I feel afraid I might fall with anything, I know that hasn’t happened yet and time will tell. Whenever I find myself troubled by worries about the future, I know that’s nothing but an illusion, a scenario created by my mind. Inquiring the sanity of our thoughts is true power.

Most people live their lives with regrets because they do not dare to step outside their comfort zone and go for their dreams, getting blocked by different kinds of imaginary fears that haven’t happened yet. There are different kinds of blockages people put against their happiness and the truth is nobody likes to fail. But if we see failure as a necessary experience and an opportunity for growth, everything changes.

To some people, success looks scarier than failure. The fear of success is directly connected to not feeling worthy of receiving the good things life has to offer. Being afraid of negative consequences as a disappointment or emotional punishment in case we don’t achieve our goals. Getting what we want might often look scary, too big or too much.

Having fears is entirely human. In fact, what most people do not realize is that fear is always trying to protect them and keep them safe from emotional injury. The main tendency would be to suppress their concerns and pretend they do not exist.

However, my coaching experience has shown me more than once that trying to suppress our fears doesn’t work. That would be a superficial, surface-only treatment because, in reality, the mind is always creating new worries.

The best results I’ve gotten in my practice have always come from letting my clients be aware of their fears and make friends with them. Thank their fears for trying to keep them away from failure and step outside of their comfort zones instead. Kind of “thanks fear, but no thanks, I have other plans with my life.”

If you find yourself in this, here is my longing for you:

If anything you want to achieve ever looks “scary,” take it as a good sign! If your dreams do not scare you a bit, it means they are not big enough. And keep in mind that, in everything you do, there’s always for you a risk to succeed!

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

And now, I would like to hear from you. What is your biggest fear? Do you have a dream that looks impossible to achieve, or too good to be true? 


Sara Fabian is a Women’s Empowerment & Career Coach and inspirational speaker, on a mission to help professional women to discover their unique strengths, gifts and talents, boost their confidence, find their calling and live a meaningful life of purpose. For weekly inspiration, subscribe to her free newsletter at www.sarafabiancoaching.com or follow her on Facebook.



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